


Don't go where I can't follow

by chouxchan



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, yunjae - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:50:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chouxchan/pseuds/chouxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho gets a new neighbour, who brings light into his life. Problem is, the light is about to go out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't go where I can't follow

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Major character death, referenced suicide.

_As written in Yunho's journal, found by his brother when cleaning out his apartment._

  
** 3/8-2014 **

  
A new guy moved into the apartment next to mine. He's so incredibly beautiful, I mistook him for a girl at first. A camera hung around his neck. I hope I'll see a lot of him in the future.

  
** 5/8-2014 **

  
I ran into the new guy in the lobby, accidentally knocking him over. His name is Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong. His voice is as beautiful as he is. He's very skinny for a guy, and super pale. Maybe he's anaemic? 

  
** 10/8-2014 **

Jaejoong came to the cake shop today. He said he'd been out looking for subjects to photograph all morning. He wants to be an artist. He's even won a few competitions already. He wouldn't show me his pictures, though, even though I asked him with my best aegyo >_< His smile is really beautiful.

Jaejoong ordered strawberry cake, saying it's his favourite. Funny, since it's my favourite too.

I gave him an extra big slice, since it looks as though he's becoming skinnier. I didn't know it was possible to lose visible amounts of weight in less than a week...

  
** 14/8-2014 **

  
Jaejoong's friends moved in with him today. Yoochun and Junsu. They seem nice. They treat Jaejoong as if he's made of glass. They follow him around everywhere, and run his errands for him even though he protests. Jaejoong comes by the cake shop every day. He says he likes my company because I treat him like an independent adult and not like a fragile piece of porcelain. I enjoy his company too, because he reminds me what it is to enjoy the small things in life and see beauty even in the simplest of things.

  
** 16/8-2014 **

  
I've fallen for Kim Jaejoong ^///^ It's official. I'm in love with him. Two weeks, that must be some new record 

  
** 20/8-2014 **

  
I think Jaejoong is really sick. I know he is. I asked him about it today, but he just changed the subject, told me to focus on now, and forget the future. We didn't say anything after that. We just drank our coffee in silence. It was comfortable. I don't think it's ever felt so natural to sit in silence with someone before, just enjoying each other's company. 

  
** 23/8-2014 **

  
** Entry 1 - 4:37 AM **

  
It's so early. So quiet. Jaejoong woke up the entire floor a couple of hours ago, just screaming in agony. When the EMT's came they had to sedate him to keep him from going into shock from pure pain. He even threw up blood, I could see the stains on his shirt. I wonder what's wrong with him? I'll ask Junsu and Yoochun later when I go to the hospital for visiting hours. I'll try to sleep some more, can't be tired when I see Jaejoong, he'll just blame himself for waking me up.

  
** Entry 2 - 10:19 AM **

  
Jenkins' Disease. That's what the doctor called it. I didn't understand the exact nature of the illness, but they said it's an autoimmune disease that breaks down the body and eventually there's multiple organ failure. It's always terminal, the doctor said. He gave Jaejoong a week to live, at the very most. I don't know how to face him. How can I smile and pretend that everything's fine like he wants me to when I know the truth?

  
** Entry 3 - 12:10 PM **

  
Jaejoong is unconscious. The EMT's only gave him enough sedatives to get him to the hospital, but he hasn't woken up again. They doubt he will. We were told to prepare for the worst. 

Jaejoong-ah. Don't go where I can't follow. Please.

  
** Entry 4 - 23:42 PM **

  
Jaejoong has been put on life support.

  
** 25/8-2014 **

  
Jaejoong's funeral is tomorrow. 

  
** 26/8-2014 **

  
I never got to tell him how I feel.

  
** 27/8-2014 **

  
Jaejoong's mother came to visit today. She gave me his camera. Apparently he wanted me to have it. The first pictures were of landscapes and crowds. Then the pictures were all of me. Eventually me and him together. The last picture was a selfie, time stamped 22/8-2014 00:32. He held up a drawing of a heart. In it, he'd written  _I love you too._

  
** 28/8-2014 **

  
** 01:27 AM **

  
Changmin, I'm sorry. I love you, my only brother. // Yunho

  
_29/8-2014_

_Cut from Seoul News_

_The body of café assistant Jung Yunho, 29, was found in the Seoul Eastern Graveyard early yesterday morning. He is believed to have committed suicide following the death of a loved one, Kim Jaejoong, by whose grave he was found. The funeral will be held in the presence of friends and family tomorrow._

  
**4/9-2014**

  
I understand, hyung. I love you. // Changmin


End file.
